HELP ME.. I’M SINKING…

{ January 20, 2008 @ 8:07 am }

i’m so not feeling good right now. there are lots of things running in my head. i’m confused, i’m scared, i’m worried, terrified. i really dont know what to do. for now, i feel like i wanna be in a far far place. be alone, with nobody, nothing, only by myslef. i feel calm outside, but deep inside me… i’m in a state of confusion, exhaustion, unrest. i dont know.  i wanna  act on things, but i’m scared of the outcome it may  bring out.  i’m afraid to take steps.. i’m afraid i might be doing the wrong thing again.
i guess from the start, i already made a wrong decision. and from that wrong decision, i am suffering this things right now. i dont know. i want to let go.. but i cant, i just cant. i feel like i’m tied in it….. i cant loose. i cant be free… i’m stuck…. i’m just sinking… sinking… deeper.. deeper.. and way way deeper..
i guess i’ll never get out of this. i’ll never ever have the chance to be free.. this will just consume me… eat me.. swallow me… this will be apart of me.. forever. consuming my whole being..
i just cant free myself. i dont know how. i wanted to.. but i just cant. no matter how i tried,.. i cant. i’m afraid to take action. i’m afraid. scared. terrified… unrest…

help me… help me.. i’m consumed….. i’m going deeper…. so deep……. i can never free myself from this abyss… i’m just sinking… just sinking…. lower.. deeper….