Broken

Its been quite a while that i have

been feeling so weak. so sad... so

confused.. so disturbed. so broken..

so fragile.. so emotional. its been a

month now.... and still the same

feeling consuming me... and every time

I remember everything i cant help my

tears from falling.. Its because of so

much hurt I feel inside. I want to get

over it.. but its so hard... They said

make yourself busy.. I tried.. but it

keeps hunting me.. It keeps on saying

how stupid I become. Telling me that I

should have not nurtured it in the

first place. That I should have

followed my head and not my heart..

From the beginning I know it will hurt 

me so much.. But I was so hard headed
to believe it because for once It made

me happy.. and made someone happy...

But i knew it was wrong...

since the time I broke my promises to

someone who has been with me for

years, encouraging me, supporting me,

and loving me so much, I said I'll

never make one again.

I'll never make a forever promise.. 

I'll never make an only you promise..

I'll never make a forever us promise....

I'll never make an only yours promise...

This are promises that are usually

broken.. when you said it at first you

were so certain about the future..

because you're so in love.. so much

feeling that you can't control.. never

thinking that time may change

everything... that in time every word

you said will be just plain words..

with the broken promises I made, I

know I betrayed that person. I caused

so much hurt just to have my own

selfish happiness. I know I have hurt a lot

of people involved. And knowing that I

did, It consumes me inside.. keep

on telling how I ruined the hope I

have given. the promises I made...

I've been trying to make myself busy.

Trying to forget what happened.. try

to enjoy myself to forget.. try to

occupy my thoughts with fun stuff..

anything that can get me off the sad

and horrible thoughts that I have. But

I know its just momentarily. When I'm

alone... when I'm quiet... it again

enters my head. and made me think again.

I believe I was plain stupid. 
Instead of promising someone something
impossible to fulfill, it's better
to do your best instead... and give 
your best effort in everything...



It is true words are cheap. they are 
just words. that's why we call them
sweet nothings.. because they are just 
nothing.. they will only have meaning

when they are fulfilled. when they are

acted upon. I was stupid to believe

and to value the words that was said..

I learned that it isn't true that when

people say they wont change, they

really wont.. Instead of holding on to

those words from the beginning, expect

that they will change... in the

shortest period of time possible. 
in that way you won't be expecting too

much. and when that time comes 
that they'll leave you... 
time that they have changed...

hopefully it won't hurt that much... 


Never ever believe people  when 
they say that they'll never leave you... 
never believe when they say they'll love 
you forever.. That they'll improve their

love... that you should value the

words they say... never ever...

especially when the relationship just

started... cause if you  do and it

didn't came out the way they said

it... you will just feel stupid... you

will just feel sorry for yourself... 


stupid for believing every bit of it...

especially when you tried your very

best.. gave all your efforts.. and in

trying you already hurt a lot of people

around you... you learned to lie.. you

tried to give time.. you tried to find

ways even though how risky it takes..

but you still tried... because it

makes you happy.. and makes someone

happy... but after all those happiness,
when everything changes.. 
you'll be left wounded.. left broken.
left hurt...

and when it hurt...it really hurts a lot...