Do the Pencil Trick!

Wow! So today nagkaroon ng laman ang isip ko. 

Beware.. walang kwenta ang post na ito. Continue reading at your own wrist.. Este risk..

Habang nakikipag-usap sa aking officemate sa Spark, at ang aming usapan ay tungkol sa Choices.. Oo.. iba’t ibang pagpipilian.. A, B, C, or D. Multiple choice exams. Basta lahat ng may choices. It all started ng nagtanong ako kung ano ang lasa ng tsaa na nakuha nya. Yun ay ang Lemon Ginger Tea ng Twinings. Sa 5 flavors ng tsaa na pinapili ko sa kanya.. yun ang nakuha nya. At dahil nahirapan syang pumili, pinikit at ini-cover  ng kaliwang kamay nya ang kanyang mga mata at saka sya namili. So yun ang nakuha nya. kaso hindi pala sya mahilig sa ginger, at mukhang hindi nya mauubos ang isang mug ng tsaa. At doon nya na sabi na lagi raw mali ang choices nya. 

Bigla tuloy nanumbalik sakin ang isang ala-ala.. (naks!)

At dahil ala-ala, Naalala ko dati ng kumuha ako ng Civil Service Exam way back 2010, for what purpose? Wala lang, para lang makakuha ng exam. Actually na hikayat lang ako ng bf ko na x ko na ngayon na kumuha ng exam. Tsaka sabi rin nila, pag nag-apply ka daw sa Government mareregular ka after probationary period of 6months? kapag wala ka kasing Civil Service Exam, or hindi kapa naka pasa sa exam na yun hanggang contractual kalang. And so kumuha nga kami. Hindi na ako nag review, at wala rin akong reviewer, at hindi rin ako bumili ng reviewer. Hindi rin ako seryoso sa exam. Basta kukuha lang ako. Yun lang. pasado kung pasado, bagsak kung bagsak. Iniisip ko kung anu man ang outcome noon wala namang may mawawala sa akin. Pag dating ng araw ng exam. Kompleto naman ako sa requirements, Picture, Lapis, ballpen, eraser, dalawang ID, at yung parang slip ata. (nakalimutan ko na). So tatawagin ang name mo, didikit mo yung picture mo sa tapat ng name mo then pipirma ka. Then upo ulit  at antayin matapos ang lahat. Then mag eexam na. Nakalimutan ko kung ilan yung number of questions. Pero ang naalala ko mas marami ata yung numbers dun sa answering sheet kesa sa number of questions. Buti nalang ay nakita ko ang number of questions bago ako nag answer. (tsamba! So hindi ko inishade ang lahat. Parang kunyari nagbasa talaga ako ng instructions) Magkahalong Math, Physics, General Info, Logic, English, may spelling, may sentence construction at definition of terms. Mahirap. Or siguro sa mga taong katulad ko mahirap na ang exam na yun. Hindi naman kasi ako matalino, at oo, inaamin ko may pagkabobo ako. Minsan slow.. at antagal mag process ng memory ko. Anagal kong makaalala. Ang math ini try ko ireverse. Ini isa-isa ko ang sagot kung tutugma dun sa question, kung wala talaga edi kung anu na ang pinaka malapit, kung mukhang imposible parin, ang gagawin ko ay ipipikit ang aking mga mata at ituturo ko yung sagot gamit ng pencil(randomly). Kung anu man ang matuturo nun, yun na ang sagot! (easy di’ba?) Ang English mahirap rin. Parang sa apat na sagot, tatlo dun ang tama, pero syempre, isa lang talaga ang sagot. Kaya sa tatlong feeling ko tama kailangan ko pa mamili ng isa. Parang sa English ata talaga ako nagtagal. Kasi ang hearing ko ang aking basis kung tama ba ang sentence o hindi. Mukha bang tamang pakinggan? Or hindi. Oo. Binibigkas ko yun ng walang boses. (parang tanga lang). Pero pag mahirap parin syempre yung pencil trick ulit! Sa lahat ng questions isa lang ang naalala ko, yun ay about sino ang papalit sa pwesto ng Vice President incase na matsugi sya. Ang sagot ay syempre ang “Senate President”. Panu ko nalaman? Nabasa ko somewhere, I don’t know where. Amazing di ba? Hindi ko pa alam yun?? Bobo much talaga. Buti nalang nabasa ko yun somewhere. So may isang sureball 1point na ako!(super happy na ako kasi hindi ako itlog!) Until dumating na yung oras na nagsabi ang teacher na kailangan na ipasa ang papel. Like? Hello!!! 11am palang ma’am! Gang 12noon pa ang exam. Pero no choice. Nagpapasahan na sila. Ako parang may 2pages pa akong hindi nadaanan!!!! Like yes! Panic!!! At aside sa 2pages na yun may mga numbers pa akong hindi nasagutan sa mga preceding pages. So mabilisan na ang pagbasa. Pag malabo at mukhang wala talaga ako makapkap sa sagot sa kokote ko, syempre pencil trick ulit!!! Sayang wala akong dalang dice noon. Sana dice na ang gagamitin ko sa pagsagot. At dahil ako nalang ang natira sa room, paspasan na pag-shade na ang ginawa ko sa mga natitirang numbers. And then! Viola! FINISH!

Moral of this Experience?? Do the pencil trick! It comes in handy!! Ahihihi.

Well, Seriously, I prayed. Sabi ko Lord wala akong alam sa exam na ito. Alam mo naman bobo ako e. Tsaka alam mo rin hindi ako nagreview. Kasi naman d’ba nagtatrabaho ako. Alangan naman magrereview ako habang nagwowork. Tsaka pagdating ng bahay pagod na ako. Mahirap kaya maging bagger.. nakakangawit, at andaming customer. Tsaka wala akong pambili ng reviewer, at wala rin akong oras at pambayad sa review. You know how poor I am.. Kaya Lord, ikaw na bahala, I-guide mo lagi ang pencil na hawak ko. :)

Have a great vacation everyone!!! Excited much!!!

I Always Have and Always Will

At dahil may ilang buwan na akong walang mapost dahil sa sabaw lagi ang utak ko.. at busibusihan ako..magrerepost nalang ako.. :) have a great vacation!

Let me tell you something you don’t know,

or I guess you don't know.

Something I kept for so long.

You're my first love.

Corny isn't it?

Sounds like something on those chick flicks that you see.

But hey, that's no drama, that's no fiction.

It's reality, it’s truth.

It's you... I have loved for so long.

You can’t tell right?

Or maybe you did, yet you didn’t assume?

Or maybe you did, but you didn’t mind?

I know what I'm good at.

I'm good at pretending.

Yes, I'm the great Pretender.

I get envious you know.

Just like any other girls do.

But I don't show it.

Or at least you didn't notice.

Or maybe you do, but you just didn’t mind?

I get jealous too you know.

I get jealous to all those girls you talked about.

How you admire them,

How you were captivated by their looks,

How your heart beats for them,

I had wished it would have been me instead.

I had wished it will happen to me too.

I had wished you would love me too.

I get jealous when you talk about your EXes.

I feel sad when you talk about your escapades.

My heart breaks every time you talk about your mistakes.

You may not see it, but I also feel your regrets.

It may not be noticeable but I sympathize when you’re hurt.

When you’re happy, I’m also happy for you.

You just don’t know how I’m a bit mad at you for being stupid before,

For not listening to the people around you.

For being slow on the very obvious teaching being said up front.

For loving her so much even if you know things are not going right,

For protecting and defending her even if she is cursing you.

For disregarding the words of the mature.

But those days were over.

I was glad when I heard you were free.

Not because I want to replace her,

I was just plainly happy for you.

Knowing that everyone who cares for you is also delighted.

Seeing and knowing that you’re happy is also my joy.

Writing this isn’t easy either.

Words I need to swallow.

Tears trying to escape my eyes

Reminiscing those cheerless thoughts,

This is just one of those ways I know to express what I feel.

I love you.

I always have.

and I always will.

Maybe you’ll wonder why I can say I love you yet I don’t want an US.

One, I’m not worth it, I know.

You’re better off with someone you really deserve.

Two, I don’t want an unhealthy relationship.

You know what I mean by that, I’ve said it for the Nth time.

Three, I want to be respected,

I know I don’t deserve it, but that’s one thing I really wish someone would do for me.

Four, I don’t want to be taken advantage because of my past.

I know that is the norm of the worldly, but I’m a Christian.

Five, I need someone who will help me live right.

It’s not an easy wish, I can tell, but I’m tired of living in it.

I’m fed up seeing myself fall into the same transgression.

It’s as if I never learned. I guess I’m just naturally stupid. 

I love you.

I always have.

and I always will.

But that’s just it.

I prefer being alone.

I prefer staying single.

For in singleness I sin less.

I’m far from committing the same dreadful mistake.

I want to straighten up my ever so crooked life.

Still, I wish for your happiness.

I wish for someone you really deserve.

Someone who will love you, and will make you happy.

I love you.

I always have.

and I always will.

Jan 15, 2012

-Anonymous-